Jungians understand the unconscious as a positive, constructive force that drives individuals towards reaching their full potential. This process is called individuation. Sensitivity to the unconscious enables us to find meaning, purpose and guidance in life. The unconscious has a tendency to become polarised into binary pairs of opposites. Managing the tension between these forces is what pushes us to develop psychologically as we compensate for the imbalance that arises when we favour one side over the other. For example someone who is organised and generally in control may have an undeveloped aspect that feels weak and helpless. Growth and maturity therefore tend to involve conflict, necessitating the toleration of discomfort that arises as different parts of ourselves come into play. The alternative is to act out of an intense constellation of feelings which can be one-sided and lacking perspective. During psychotherapy, there is an opportunity to inhabit the feelings whilst someone else – the therapist – has one foot in the feelings camp and just as importantly, one foot out of the feelings camp. The capacity to stand back and think about what is happening is imperative if change is to take place.
In order to spot unconscious forces arising, Jungians pay close attention to the symbolic life, understanding dreams, myths and stories as repositories of energies as they begin to unfold. The beauty of being able to think in this way is that it is both marvellously complex and yet so simple when the message is understood. Paradox is a sure sign that we are travelling in the right direction. The symbol stirs the soul before it touches the surface. Mercurial aspects of stories, art and music that cannot quite be pinned down, nonetheless can act as powerful messengers. It is why we need a healthy cultural life, alongside the scientific life currently favoured in our times. Indeed these two approaches can be considered to be a binary opposite pair, and we are in danger of being one-sided and unbalanced when we privilege only one of them. What we know is that some of our most creative scientific advances happen when scientists allow their imaginations time to play and allow ideas to arise out of the ‘left field’; this is the domain of unconsciousness.
The unconscious of each person contributes to an interactive field hence we can have ‘team spirit’ – the invisible but very real connection between players – or an espirit de corps. Going to work when it is missing can be a dry and meaningless affair. Good leadership harnesses the unconscious energy of the team to inspire and offer a shared vision towards which the team is heading. In a similar way, the unconscious is powerfully at work when two people get together to form a couple. Once again, when the unconscious connection is dropped then the couple may be going through a barren patch. In many cases, each is holding one end of the binary opposite pairing such as: weakness vs strength; dependence vs independence; submission vs dominance; loud vs quiet; emotion vs reason….
Partners choose one another unconsciously so that each can locate their undeveloped aspect in the other, and of course, this can then be the cause of much conflict. Each partner has chosen the other to compensate for unresolved problems and when I ask couples what were their initial attractions, often the very qualities that fascinated and drew them to one another in the first place are also the very qualities that now irritate them to death! Learning about the dormant/undesirable parts of our own inner life is a long-term journey and leads us to confront the very aspects which we were hoping to avoid. Rather than expecting a partner to change, the psychological work required may be to develop and make room for the detested qualities in ourselves. Successful long-term relationships can therefore be the making of us.
To conclude, individuation is a process of becoming. It is both an intensely inward looking journey and it also needs to come to life in the relationships that we form with other people. Making the unconscious conscious enables psychic development thereby contributing to a well-lived life.
Psychotherapy and Counselling 