The personality is structured by relationships. The quality and variety of relationships that we have experienced in our lives are internalised and make us who we are. We need a good mixture of male and female. We seek what is familiar in subsequent relationships with others, but also what is missing. Jung described the missing parts as a ‘soul image’ and for him he was in search of the feminine or his anima.
Traditionally, the feminine aspects of a personality are associated with moods, feelings, reactions and impulses. Intuition and wisdom are traditionally thought of as feminine attributes. At the time when Jung was writing, masculine and feminine were more clearly split along gender lines. This is no longer the case, so in my work as a Jungian therapist I think about what is contra-psychological rather what is contra-sexual. Men and women have a mixture of masculine and feminine qualities in differing proportions. The aim of a mature personality is to have a good blend of each that can work in harmony rather than in opposition.
… a well-developed emotional life offers a much more relational and sensitive idiom
When feminine qualities take a negative charge, we see them in an immature and undeveloped state. Unconstrained emotionality where people ‘let rip’ would be an example of this. Restless, promiscuous, moody and sentimental behaviour would be other examples – and they throw psyche off course and off balance. In contrast, a well-developed emotional life offers a much more relational and sensitive idiom; a mature personality has a great capacity for insight and healing. Considering our world and our own society, we are in need of feminine qualities, both to counterbalance a failure in development of a culture that is stuck to the surface of being, and also to complement an over-developed and out of control masculine side.
What we see with the negative masculine today is a society that is warlike, competitive, individualistic and mechanistic. The dead-hand of the marketplace has been allowed to dominate with disastrously divisive consequences. Whereas a mature and well-developed masculinity offers us commitment, belief and inspiration, an immature manifestation is managerial, ruthless and dominating. Positive masculine traits can inspire, comfort, help and protect – in other words dominance is converted into service. Coupled with the ‘right relationship’ that a positive femininity offers, the result is more nurturing and nourishing for everyone.
We only need to think about what kind of parents we would wish for to know that the mature expression of the masculine and feminine is eminently more desirable. This will have a very beneficial effect on growth and development not only for the individuals in the family, but also for society at large.
Psychotherapy and Counselling 